The Blind Dead Cannot Be Stopped

H
appy holidays
, everyone!  It's that time of year again, to gather 'round the hearth and spend this magical evening with your chosen family, whether that be your relatives, closest friends, or Amando de Ossorio's iconic Blind Dead.  Yes, before Dan Brown turned his creative sites on the Knights Templar, before John Krasinski started claiming credit for inventing monsters that hunt by sound and before George Romero realized, hey, he could franchise walking corpses, Ossorio was doing it all with his most famous series of films: Tombs Of the Blind Dead, Return Of the Evil Dead, The Ghost Galleon and Night Of the Seagulls.  And you can own the whole run on blu-ray ...if you're willing to put in a little effort.

It was a great day in 2005 when Blue Underground assembled all four horror classics on widescreen, restored somewhat special edition DVDs.  There had been an earlier, non-anamorphic flipper disc of the first two films from Anchor Bay, but that was it.  They came in an awesome coffin box and everything.  But unfortunately, the rights to these films seem to be spread across all different owners, making it nigh-impossible for any boutique label to do the same again today for blu-ray.  They have all received at least some kind of decent blu-ray, though, some fancier than others.  You've just got to shop around.

Update 12/25/23 - 7/17/26: From Christmastime to a global heatwave, huh?  Well, the Spanish blu-ray was pretty neat, but now Vinegar Syndrome partner label Bizarro has imported Ghost Galleon into the US... and on UHD no less!  Is it the same transfer on a higher gen disc, or what's the deal?  Let's see what they've done with it!
1972's Tombs starts off the series.  A titillating lesbian romance between Betty and Virginia goes sour when boyfriend Roger enters the picture.  And then everything goes sour when Betty wanders off into the abandoned village of Berzano and draws out the risen husks of 14th century knights who live forever via a perpetual series of blood sacrifices.  Soon, everybody's drawn into the mayhem, from creepy coroners to a gang of smugglers.

Okay, the writing isn't the sharpest, and it's a bit ridiculous how much everybody is unrepentantly raping everybody in these movies.  But all that's easy to ignore with so much masterful atmosphere, visual panache and the coolest movie monsters in all of movie monster history are on display.  These bad boys look way creepier than Romero's, with their skeletal faces, beards and rotted robs.  They're just as slow, even when they ride their horses and they have an unforgettable theme that returns in each sequel.  It's ambitious, with its flashbacks to the 14th century.  And even "basic" shots, like the blinking neon lights in the mannequin factory or the smoke from the train carrying into the bedroom flashback, show a director determined to create something more artful than just exploitation.
Austria's XT Video first released this film on blu in 2018, and Spain's Gabita Barbieri has released their own edition.  There are also Austrian discs from Carol Media, but those are censored/ cut, so stay awy from those.  Anyway, the smart money's on Synapse, which released a pricey, 2-disc steelbook edition in 2022, followed by a cheaper retail edition this October.  I've got the former, so that's what we'll be looking at here, but my understanding is that the two blu-ray discs are the same across both editions.

Now, both BU and Synapse have included both the US theatrical cut and the longer, "Integral" Spanish/ English hybrid cut with almost twenty minutes of additional footage.  So the second set of screenshots only has two, because there I'm comparing a shot that's only in the longer version.
1) 2005 BU DVD; 2) 2005 BU TC DVD; 3) 2022 Synapse BD; 4) 2022 Syanpse TC BD.
Disappointingly, BU's main version is interlaced, which is surprising, because none of the other discs in their set are, and even their shorter theatrical cut isn't.  Maybe it's just a screw up, but it sure was frustrating, as the longer cut is easily the one to watch.  Plus, even if you're indifferent to the difference between cuts, BU's theatrical cut is taken from a lesser source, seemingly a blown out, high contrast print.  So it was a good thing when BDs finally came around to correct this situation.  Synapse's specifically is taken from a 2k from the original camera negative, with additional color correction and clean-up done in-house.

BU presented the integral cut in 1.70:1 and the theatrical cut in 1.66:1.  Synapse sticks with the proper 1.66 (or, technically, 1;65:1) ratio, while still revealing a sliver more picture along the edges.  That's for both cuts.  Unlike BU, Synapse has clearly used the same 2k restoration for both edits.  And it looks great.  Sure, could grain look a little finer in 4k on UHD?  But for a 2k scan on 1080p, it reaches Synapse's reliable level of perfection.  It also clears away the greenish cast on BU's disc.

Audio-wise, they call the integral cut a hybrid for a reason.  Both discs let you watch the US theatrical cut, naturally, in the original English mono.  And the longer cut in the Spanish mono with optional English subtitles.  But Synapse has also edited together an English track for the longer cut that only cuts to Spanish audio for the composite shots, and it has a second subtitle track to just show subs for those scenes.  Synapse has also added optional English subtitles for the theatrical cut, which BU didn't bother with.  All of Synapse's tracks are in lossless LPCM, while BU's are just in lossy Dolby Digital, and have been restored to sound less echo-y and tinny.
Extras are another strong upgrade, though honestly, I was a little disappointed with Syanpse here, given their high price point.  Though I appreciate that a lot of key personnel have passed, limiting their options.  BU just had the alternate "Revenge From Planet Ape" opening credits, a stills gallery and the trailer on the main disc.  But it also included a very interesting half-hour documentary on Ossorio and another excellent interview with Ossorio on their bonus disc.  Plus also another photo gallery.  It comes in an amary case, which fits with the other discs inside that awesome coffin box if you bought the whole collection, and includes a stylish 40-page booklet.

Synapse, sadly, did not license that bonus disc content and we don't really hear from Ossorio at all on their edition.  Frankly, a lot of their stuff feels more like filler than can't-miss content, though they have their compelling highlights, for sure.  First, there are three audio commentaries, but they're all just by modern horror experts except one, which features star Lone Fleming.  That's obviously the most compelling, but as just one actress who often isn't in the scenes on screen, they're left to do a lot of stretching to fill the entire run-time.  An on-camera interview would've been more appropriate.  Still, I can't deny there's some interesting stuff to be heard in her track if you have the patience for it.

The best part of Synapse's package is their feature-length doc on Spanish horror, though how enthralled you are will depend on how interested you are in other Spanish horror filmmakers.  Lone Fleming is back, and we also hear from Jack Taylor of Ghost Galleon.  But get ready for a lot of Paul Naschy and all kinds of other stuff that isn't directly Blind Dead-related.  They did restore the trailer, though, so it looks a lot better than what was on the old DVD, and they did port over the expert interview from XT Video's blu-ray.  They've also got the Planet Ape intro, a music video by some modern heavy metal band inspired by the Blind Dead, oh, and a whole CD of heavy metal tributes to the Blind Dead if you're a fan of that sort of thing.  This release also includes an 8-page booklet and comes in a steelbook package housed in a slipcover.
Return Of the Evil Dead, in some ways, is more fun than the original.  In typical sequel-fashion, it gets to the action sooner.  But it also makes more use of the blind dead actually being blind, and people creeping silently around them to escape.  It has more fun characters, with a corrupt mayor putting everybody else's lives in danger, and this is the film that conclusively reveals, yes, those horses are zombies, too.  I think it's meant to be a prequel, showing how the town of Berzano came to be deserted, though the rules and continuity between these films has always been a little shakey.  Lone Fleming is back, as a different character, and there's another 14th century flashback.  Sure, it recycles some footage of the Templars rising from their tombs, but considering how amazing those shots looked, who could blame them?

Sadly, there isn't a US option for this film on blu, just the aforementioned AB and BU DVDs.  There's just the Austrian BDs and the more recent Spanish blu from Gabita Barbieri Films, which is actually a fairly loaded special edition.  Oh, and once again there is a shorter US theatrical cut and a longer, original Spanish version; though the difference is only about four minutes this time.  GB didn't bother with the shorter cut on their blu (so once again, the second set of screenshots only has two shots), but honestly that's fine by me.  These shorter US edits are just as well left to history as far as I'm concerned.
1) BU 2005 theatrical DVD; 2) 2005 BU DVD; 3) 2022 Gabita Barbieri BD.
So, okay, I'm not in love with Gabita Barbieri's work here.  BU again seems to have used higher quality source for the longer cut and a rougher print for the theatrical cut.  And GB at least seem to have used the better source.  But it looks DNR'd to death, showing less hint of grain than the old DVD.  They're all in 1.66:1 (well, BU's theatrical cut is more like 1.68), but some parts, like that second set of shots, are slightly zoomed in.  The colors are more natural in general, though, and before you dismiss it out of hand, check out what they were able to do with the murky night shots:
1) BU 2005 DVD; 2) 2022 Gabita Barbieri BD.
That's so much more attractive.  And a lot of the film looks like this - especially many of the best bits.  So I would call this an improvement over the DVD; I just wish they hadn't scrubbed the picture ...or maybe just over-compressed it to death?  Either way, it's flawed but still preferable.

BU keeps it pretty simple this time in the language department.  The longer cut is in Spanish Dolby Digital with optional English subs, and the theatrical cut is in English DD with no subs.  GB has gone all out, though, giving us another hybrid English track in DD or the original Spanish in lossless DTS-HD, plus an Italian dub.  And there are optional English subtitles for both language options, as well as Spanish, Italian and Portuguese subs.
The Lost Script
And it's a surprising win in the extras department.  BU just had two trailers and a photo gallery.  GB has the trailer, alternate Spanish-language credits, and way more.  There's an interview with Lone Fleming that's over an hour long.  Yes, they go over her whole career, but there's plenty about the Blind Dead films.  They even show a complete short film she wrote and directed called The Barefoot Virgin in the middle of the interview.  Yes, it all has optional English subtitles.  As does The Lost Script, a short 2016 Blind Dead sequel(!) starring Lone Fleming, as well as a bunch of Spanish cult actors from the 70s and 80s, including Loreta Tovar from Return Of the Evil Dead.  Essentially, Fleming plays herself, haunted by nightmares of the blind dead after receiving a long lost script by Ossorio.  Obviously, it's not on the same level as the original films, but it's pretty fun.

There are a couple more extras related to The Last Script: an interview with the director and a behind-the-scenes feature, but sadly, those are not English-friendly.  But even that's way more than any past edition has given us!
Next up is 1974's Ghost Galleon, a.k.a. The Blind Dead on a boat!  Trapping our protagonists on claustrophobic set is an effective way to ratchet up suspense, and the Templars were merchants famous for establishing trade routes and all, so it all fits historically (or well enough for this kinda stuff).  But on the downside, the model looks like a tiny toy boat, and there the professor jumps to some ludicrous exposition about slipping into alternate dimensions.  They can't recycle as much footage now that the dead are in a new location, and without their horses, but watching these films close together, you'll find some tight formulas all these films are following.  For example, the first girl to encounter the blind dead always runs away, up some stairs, gets her foot stuck, which the zombies reach for an almost grab, but then she pulls away, gets cornered upstairs, and leaps back down to the lower level to escape just in the nick of time.  Seriously, that sequence happens in all three films so far.  But hey, at least they tried something different with this ghost ship stuff, and it still delivers on the awesome blind dead.

There was no Anchor Bay DVD of this one, so we just had the Blue Underground and some gray market stuff from Brentwood and Mill Creek.  On blu, there's just the Austrian discs and the Spanish one from Babita Barbieri.  The Austrian discs were limited and are no long OOP and expensive, so I went with the Spanish one again.  I rocked with that for a couple years, but then I replaced it with Bizarro's new 2026 BD/ UHD combopack.
1) BU 2005 DVD; 2) 2022 Gabita Barbieri BD; 3) 2026 Bizarro BD; 4) 2026 Bizarro UHD.




Things are simpler this time; no theatrical cuts or other sources.  GB seems to be using the same master as BU, though we do benefit from the HD format.  Colors, brightness levels, etc are all the same.  Both older discs are roughly 1.85:1, with GB correcting BU's slightly squished 1.82 ratio.  And flicking between the two, it's like: in focus, out of focus.  It's essentially the same picture except in SD or HD.  Grain is still pretty lacking, but compared to the DVD, it was a no-brainer.  Bizarro's release then, which the case clarifies was scanned in 4k from the original 35mm negative, is actually a smidgen wider at 1.86:1.  It's clearly not the same scan, because it reveals more image around all four sides.  I prefer the color timing, too.  The colors are more vibrant, sometimes warmer, and more distinct.  We don't really get any additional clarity in the jump to 4k, but the UHD is the first disc in the chain to capture the grain properly (yeah, even the new Bizarro BD is lacking in that regard) and gives this movie a truly filmic look that really plays into this movie's atmosphere, which is a crucial element of Ghost Galleon.

Language-wise, BU gives us the options of Spanish or English with optional English subs.  GB does the same, though theirs are both in DTS-HD this time.  They also throw in French, Italian and Russian dubs, and Spanish and French subs.  Bizarro scales back on the foreign language options, but still gives us the choice of Spanish and English in DTS-HD, with two sets of English subtitles, one that translates the Spanish track and one that transcribes the English.
Extras used to be quite light for this one.  BU has a couple trailers, radio spots and a TV spot, plus a gallery.  GB has the trailer and its own gallery, plus the entire soundtrack album as an easter egg.  Just let the photo gallery play to the end and it'll cut to footage of the record being played.  But that was it until 2026, when Bizarro cooked up a bit of a special edition.  It's mostly expert stuff, with three featurettes, talking to a festival host, a fanzine editor and special effects artist Antonio Garcinuno.  The latter never worked on this film or anything, so he's basically speaking here as an expert, too.  But he did meet Ossorio and even has some original props from this movie, so that's pretty neat.  Bizarro also included the Ossorio doc from Blue Underground's bonus disc (see below), but not the interview from the same disc.  They also have two sets of alternate credits, though disappointingly, they've dropped the trailer.  The first 2000 copies ordered direct from VS also came in an exclusive slipcover.
Finally, we come to Night Of the Seagulls.  This is a slower one, where a doctor visits an old fishing village that has to sacrifice virgins to the Templars in order not to get massacred.  Obviously, the doctor interferes and everybody comes to regret it.  The dead get their horses back, there's a neat castle and a funny pagan frog god statue.  Otherwise, it's everything you've come to expect from this series (and yes, seagulls): another atmospheric good time, but no surprises.  The fact that this is the slowest, and many find it the most boring, may be why this was the final one.  Though we know from interviews Ossorio had interest in making a fifth.

BU's DVD was pretty much the only option on DVD, and the Austrian discs were the only options on blu, until 2018 when Scream Factory surprisingly threw their hat into the ring to release just the fourth and final entry into Ossorio's series.
1) BU 2005 DVD; 2) 2018 Scream Factory BD.
And I guess it's okay?  Both releases are 1.85:1, but Scream zooms in to shave a little off of all four sides compared to the DVD.  At least it gets rid of the red tint from BU's disc.  And it is genuinely a little less smudgy and compressed (after all, I'd hope so, going from DVD to SD), but it's barely an more detailed, and there's not really any more grain than on the Spanish discs.  In fact, subtle detail seems to have been scrubbed away.  It's another improvement, but not what I was hoping for when I bought it.

Audio-wise, both discs give us both English and Spanish tracks with optional subs, but at least Scream Factory's are DTS-HD.

And extras are pretty light, too.  BU just gives us the trailer and a photo gallery.  And SF gives us the trailer and an audio commentary by the guys from the NaschyCast.  It's not bad, but as the name implies, they wind up talking a lot about Paul Naschy and lots of other tangents besides this movie.  They're fine, really, it's more just an inherent flaw of getting modern horror fans to do audio commentaries for films... they almost never have nearly enough to info to convey so they wind up filibustering for most of the run time.  These should be on-camera interviews (or visual essays if they prefer), but labels think audio commentaries look better when they release the specs, so everybody winds up losing.  But now I'm ranting; these guys actually do a better job than most.  I just wish labels would re-think their strategies a little.
Anyway, that's all of Amando de Ossorio's Blind Dead movies.  But it's not totally all of the Blind Dead movies.  There are several unofficial sequels and knock-offs that bear mentioning, including one I'd even seriously recommend.  Most of them not so much.

First, there's Cross Of the Devil, which came out in 1975, the same year as Seagulls.  It's written (but not directed) by Paul Naschy and clearly inspired by Ossorio's films.  In it, the Templar Knights are ghosts, though they have very little screentime.  Also, crucially, they're not blind or undead zombies.  It's the most tenuous "unofficial sequel."  It's a very talky ghost story, but the Templars do wear roughly the same outfits and ride their horses.

Then there's Mansion Of the Living Dead from 1982.  It's essentially a Jess Franco porno movie starring his wife, where four stewardesses have sex scenes in a hotel.  But occasionally, hooded monks, clearly inspired by Ossorio's Templars, show up to rape them.  For hardcore completists only.

Then there are a couple shorts.  There's The Lost Script, which I've already covered above.  It's fun and worth checking out if you don't go in with serious expectations.  And there's Scream Of the Blind Dead, which is a Full Moon short directed by Fangoria's Chris Alexander.  They describe it as an art film and a tribute, but that's just because they're stretching a couple minutes of footage into about 40 by playing with the colors, slow motion, etc.  It's basically two women running around being chased by a guy dressed like one of the blind dead.  The DVD comes out in February, but I'd avoid it.

Things are getting warmer, though, with 2008's Graveyard Of the Dead, a.k.a. Erotic Nights Of the Blind Dead.  It's basically a fan film, looks very amateurish, but is at least trying to be an actual Blind Dead film, as opposed to just cribbing from them like Naschy and Franco.  They even stage a 14th century origin scene, like the originals.  It's also pretty sleazy, with extended rape scenes and stuff, but that's actually fairly in keeping with the originals.  So if you have a high tolerance for home-made, no budget stuff, it is on DVD.
But finally, of much better quality is 2020's Curse Of the Blind Dead.  It's actually a professionally made feature film, and a proper sequel, as opposed to a rip-off, putting Ossorio in the opening credits, using the classic theme music and following the continuity as much as any of these movies can.  The 14th century prologue looks better than any of the originals ever did, and the practical gore is through the roof.  It's Italian, by the same guy who did Morituris (Legion Of the Dead) about the zombie gladiators.  As such, English isn't everybody's first language, so the acting is all over the place.  And that's not the only flaw... It's slow, taking a long time to get to the blind dead attacks, although Ossorio often did the same thing, with a lot of set-up and other villains besides the Templars.  So I think that's deliberate.  Also, these zombies are more robust.  They don't run, but they also don't creep and lurch like the originals (although they do ride their horses in slow-mo just like the old ones).

It's available on DVR from Uncork'd here in the states, but Germany has a proper blu-ray release.  It's uncut in 2.40:1, with both the English and German 5.1 tracks in DTS-HD with optional English subtitles.  For extras, it just has the trailer, in English and German, plus a couple bonus trailers.  But look how nicely it fits with the other BDs, and the original bonus disc, in the famous Blue Underground box - it's the perfect Blind Dead set for the giving season.  And you know what else would probably just fit in here just as well?  New 4k special editions of Ossorio's three other Blind Dead movies, right Bizarro?  Eh?  Eh?  Please?

The Loved One Is So Good, You Guys!

I've gotten stuck in pretty deep reviewing a couple of multi-film collections, which has taken longer than expected.  As a consequence, I've started to go pretty long without an update.  So that's still coming.  But in the meantime, here's a quick, DVD/ BD comparison of a single catalog title I can get up a little faster. It's a film that was bound to wind up on this site sooner or late anyway; I kinda love it, it's pretty unsung and it's also kinda nuts: 1965's The Loved One from Warner Archive.
The Loved One was directed by Tony Richardson right after he set the cinema world on fire with Tom Jones.  It's based on the novel by Evelyn Waugh, you most people know from Brideshead Revisited, but this is nothing at all like that.  Rather than a stoic period piece, this is a wacky, contemporary comedy, but also dark, with teeth and the depth Waugh is known to bring to his work.  And when I say "contemporary," I mean for the 60s when it was made, and you know all the hellzapoppin' zaniness 60s comedies could get up.  I mean, just look at this cast: Johnathan Winters (in dual roles!), John Gielgud, James Coburn, Liberace, Tab Hunter, Chick Hearn (as himself), Roddy McDowall, Rod Steiger and Milton friggin' Berle are in this.  It's like a year's worth of Oscar winners and celebrity guest stars from The Love Boat pitched together to make an art movie.  and yes, Milton Berle's actually pretty great.
The slogan "the motion picture with something to offend everyone" is definitely over-stating things.  This isn't Men Behind the Sun or Meet the Feebles.  But it doesn't play it it safe, either, as it irreverently sends up the funeral home business, satirizing religion, capitalism, sex, Hollywood and the way we compartmentalize death.  In tone, I guess it's closest to Dr. Strangelove.  The tendency towards extreme silliness will surely put a lot of viewers off; but it's sort of a mad genius of a movie.

Warner Bros first released The Loved One on DVD in a nice, semi-special edition in 2006.  They later reissued it as part of the Warner Archive collection in 2013, which might've been a DVR?  I'm not sure; I've got the original '06 one.  Anyway, it's same content on both discs otherwise.  In 2016, they remastered the film and released it on blu.
2006 Warner Bros DVD top; 2016 Warner Archives BD bottom.
Both discs are presented in 1.78:1, which is to be expected for the DVD, but I would've thought they'd tweak it to 1.85 for the BD.  I don't know; maybe 1.78 is Richard's preference.  Because the blu is clearly a fresh scan, with additional picture along all four sides.  It's got stronger contrast and detail is definitely sharper and clearer - you can now read the "Happier Hunting Grounds" card on Winter's desk in that first set of shots.  And the image is much more filmic with grain, which is admittedly a little pixelated - this ain't 4k - but an entirely different league from the DVD, which smooths all of it away.

The DVD has the original English mono plus a French dub, with English, French and Spanish subtitles.  The blu-ray drops all the foreign language options, but keeps the subtitles and bumps the audio up to DTS-HD.
And a pleasant surprise - these aren't barebones!  Both discs have the same special features, which primarily consists of one fifteen minute-ish retrospective featurette, which interviews several key members of the cast and crew. You don't get a lot of extras on these Archive discs, and they went to the trouble of gathering up not just a handful of experts, but five of the original participants.  Besides that, there's the trailer, which is worth cheeking out just for the animation of the crazy poster image.  This one's a real essential in my collection.

FREE DVDS!!!

Folks, you might find this hard to believe, but the state of physical media in this world was once so much more plentiful, that studios would just give you some for free!  Major motion pictures, Oscar Award winners, hit TV shows, junk, you name it.  You could just pick them up at a store, find them mailed to your house unsolicited, or get with a box of cereal.  No kidding.  I lived through it and I saved the evidence.  So let's have a look; it can't all be boutique label comparisons.  I gotta live up to the name of this site and post something offbeat once in a while.  So let's start at the bottom and build up to the most interesting.

It's easy to understand why these first couple discs were given away for free; they're basically just novel forms of advertising.
In 2005, I was buying something at Suncoast Video in my local shopping mall.  And on the check-out counter was an open box of DVDs that said "FREE- TAKE ONE."  So I did.  It was a little promotional DVD for Tyler Perry's film Madea's Family Reunion, which was coming to theaters in a couple months.

So what's actually on there?  Not that much.  After a couple warnings and logo screens, for The Tyler Perry Company and Lion's Gate, we get the teaser trailer for the film.  That's followed by the full theatrical trailer.  And finally that's followed by what might have been interesting for big Perry fans at the time, but isn't worth much now that the film's out and readily available: a two minute clip from the upcoming film.  It's all non-anamorphic and improperly interlaced.  But looking it up, it seems like the home video release of this movie doesn't include the teaser or trailer, so maybe there's like one super hardcore fan out there who's happy to own this DVD.
if you only click to enlarge one screenshot in your entire life...
And along the same lines but a little more compelling is DVD Inside: The DVD Entertainment Magazine from Artisan Home Entertainment.  Calling this a "magazine" is exceedingly generous - it's basically just a collection of, as it says on the front cover, "over 30 movie trailers."  They're divided into exciting categories such as "What's Out There," This Holiday Season" and "$15.00 and Under."  But there is a magazine-like aspect, starting with a weird ass 30-second video of a woman talking to a creepy CGI man on his television (don't worry; he ends up in prison!).  Another woman speaks to us on the menu screens, explaining what all the options are.  And like the Madea DVD, it also tries to get us excited over an exclusive clip - in this one from their upcoming T2: Judgement Day restoration.  It's also non-anamorphic and and problematically interlaced, so I wouldn't say they do a good job of selling it.

But there is something marginally worthwhile on this disc, too.  An exclusive interview with Steven Soderbergh and Terence Stamp at a Virgin Megastore about their film, The Limey.  It's only a couple minutes long, but the actual Limey releases don't have any on-camera interviews and are generally starved for extras, so at least it's something.  There's no year on this, but given what they're marketing, this must be from 2000-2001, and it has buy.com branding on the back.  They had a whole website and (actual paper) magazine subscription service where they would send you a whole bunch of stuff; and they produced DVDs with whole movies on them (search "InsideDVD" on EBay).  But this is the weird freebie I got.
This next disc, I don't know, my parents just randomly got it in the mail one day in 2008?  The actual name of the disc is TWC_NY_MAILER.  It's a promo disc for TNT's show, The Closer.  It starts with a joint commercial for The Closer and Saving Grace, focusing on how they've "redefined what it means to be a woman on television."  Then it gives you a complete episode of The Closer, apparently from season 3.  That's it, no gimmicks or ploys, just a free episode of the show in the mail.  And despite being newer than the other discs, it's still non-anamorphic and badly interlaced.  But hey, back before most people had streaming, a free episode of a show in the mail was kind of a neat, random surprise.
everything's playing in that little box in the middle.
A little less straight forward is this promo disc for Lost that came free inside an issue of TV Guide from 2009ish.  No whole episodes here, but for fans, it had some interesting odds and ends.  The menu screen constantly plays ocean sounds the entire time unless you click the mute button, which you absolutely will want to do, because all of the video plays inside a window on the menu screen.  So yes, the ocean sounds play during, and conflict with, the audio from the videos.  It starts with a trailer for season 2 and a teaser for season 3.  But then we get some deleted scenes from season 2, and a couple behind-the-scenes featurettes, including an interview with JJ Abrams.  I looked it up, and some of this stuff wound up on the Lost season 2 boxed set, but one of them was only on the Spanish and German sets, and these particular deleted scenes appeared on any of them.  Something interesting for the Lost devotee who has everything.
But enough of these scraps!  Didn't I say entire, major motion pictures were given away for free?  Yes, like these two from 2005: 12 Angry Men (the original) and 1998's The Man In the Iron Mask, which were part of Kellogg's Movie Lovers Collection.  See, once you collected five "tickets" from your cereal boxes, you could print out an order form and mail them, select from one of eight titles.  The others were: Agent Cody Banks, Hackers, It Runs in the Family, Return to Me, Baby Boom and Honeymoon in Vegas, and later, they re-ran the program but with Fox DVDs.  So you just mailed them an envelope, and they mailed you back the DVD in a glossy paper sleeve.  You could even cut off part of the sleeve and use it as a $2 coupon on MGM special editions in stores... but I'm too much of a collector to cut up my DVD covers.
Anyway these, to be clear, are not special editions.  They're completely barebones.  They don't even have menu screens.  They're also fullscreen 1.32:1 editions, which was a little surprising, since MGM had already released the correctly framed widescreen versions at that time.  And yes, they're interlaced.  Apparently, all free DVDs must be interlaced, no matter what.  Maybe it's intentional sabotage to make viewers want to double-dip?  It was a little hard to complain, though, when they didn't even ask us to pay for shipping.
But the best gifts are surprises, right?  So here's an Academy Award winning movie that arrived completely unsolicited and unexpected, delivered in a paper envelop inside our morning newspaper (specifically, The Home News Tribune): Smile Pinki: A Real-World Fairy Tale.  It won the Oscar for Best Documentary Short in 2008.  It's a documentary about, and funded by, a charity called Smile Train, which performs free cleft lip and palette surgeries on impoverished children in India, focusing on one particular little girl named Pinki Sonkar.  It's a little schmaltzy and self-congratulatory - if you pay attention to Academy voting in the documentary categories, they often favor causes they like over what happens to actually be the best movie - but it's genuinely well done, filmed on location and following her journey first-hand.  I believe the reason Smile Train distributed this disc free of charge was a way to promote their charity, and hopefully make back the expense in new donations.  You can't be mad at that, especially when the only consequence for us was a free movie.
That's Chris Melonie in the dark green.  They just... let him do that.
Again, of course, it's non-anamorphic and interlaced.  English subtitles are burnt in and not always easy to read.  And obviously it's completely barebones, right?  No, that's where you're wrong!  There are actually hours of bonus features!  There's a featurette about how Pinki was flown to America so she could walk the red carpet at the Oscars and a traditional 'making of' featurette.  And then there is tons and tons of video by and about Smile Train.  It's like an infomercial broken up into pieces: "Walter Cronkite Reports," "10th Year Anniversary," "Report from Bangladesh," etc.  And there's tons of celebrity endorsement videos, by people like Diane Sawyer, Christie Brinkley and Alex Trebek, plus the chairman and founder (that's two separate people) of the charity.  There's even a piece about actor Chris Meloni (star of Law & Order SVU and Wet Hot American Summer) traveling to India and wvwn performing part of one of the children's surgeries.  Honest, for real!  Hey, it's all for a good cause, but I can't imagine any human being on Earth actually watched all of it.  But the stuff that actually acts as DVD extras for the movie are nice to have, and certainly unexpected.  Just like the disc itself.

But that's what life was like before 2010, young readers.  Sometimes the world just gave you DVDs, whether you asked for them or not.